If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
