He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
