Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
