I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize