she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
