I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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