How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
