is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
