I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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