we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
