I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
