I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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