He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
