I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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