That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
