I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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