OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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