Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize