he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize