they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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