I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
