It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
