My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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