...so i touched it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
