i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
