Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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