I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
