matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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