I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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