who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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