Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
