Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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