you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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