Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
