Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
