Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
