the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
