You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
