sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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