A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
