You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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