Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
