I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
