how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
