My room smells like vodka and shame
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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