I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Terrible idea I love it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
