quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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