question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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