just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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