next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
