I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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