i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
