I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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