My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
