We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
