I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
