They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
