my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
