You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
