So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
