I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
