when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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