Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
