im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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