I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize