that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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